The Homest Home

It has been 10 months since I sold my little getaway place out in the woods. And man, I still miss it. I miss having the privilege of making the less than one hour drive out to it anytime I wanted. It served as a sanctuary when I was going through my divorce as well as a way station of solitude anytime I needed.

Merwin. We called in Merwin for it was nestled on terrain that surrounded beautiful Lake Merwin.

I learned to quiet down among the trees and breathe in deep their wise loving presence at Merwin. I became especially close to the Cedars that towered next to my deck. Whenever I first arrived, I would go outside and greet them like old friends for they had indeed become companions for me in this life.

My daughter Rose and my grandson and I spent a lot of time out there when the pandemic kicked in. What a place to withdraw to for peaceful solace. We found new places to explore including a secret waterfall.

Last Christmas Eve I was telling Rose how much I missed our place in the forest. I began softly crying as if I was missing a lover, and indeed I was. No one has loved me like a forest with their strong arms and steady immovable presence. It was in those woods where I discovered that me, the city girl who has lived amongst concrete her entire life, could be at ease all alone in the woods. More than at ease : I could Fully Be.

Rose smiled as the nostalgic moment passed over me. She got up and reached for a gift from under the Christmas tree and handed it to me. The tag read, "To Pam, from Merwin."

I opened it with a rush of giddy Christmas anticipation. It was a picture frame that held beneath the glass pressed flowers and a pressed fern frond.

"I picked them on our last day out there," said Rose as my heart just heaved with gratitude.

Sometimes I wish I had kept the place. It was so magical, so healing and truly enchanted. I loved being able to share it with friends when I could. I had dreams of spending years there and even living there part-time. I love the surrounding rural communities and even made some friends with the locals. I could see myself there.

I also have friends in that community of forest getaways. Tomorrow I am going to visit one of them. It will be my first time back to Lake Merwin Campers Hideaway since last summer. I know it will be a happy reunion. I will soak up every little bit of forest love I can. I still dream of the day I can Live in the Forest and be a Forest Dweller rather than a forest visitor. I don't know if it is realistic, but who says dreams need to be ?!

I feel most alive and centered in this existence when I am in the forest. It is the Homest Home I have known. Tomorrow I am going Home.

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