Keep Going

I was driving alone on a dark winding road. There was thick forest on either side of the narrow highway. It was a moonless night, the sky black and empty of stars. I could only see as much as the light of my car would let me see. I was white-knuckle driving with the focus of a woman intent on staying in her lane.

I slowed down on a steep curve when it happened. Without warning I went blind. My vision vanished in less than a blink of my seeing blue eyes.

I somehow kept driving, compulsively, though fear white-knuckled my heart. I knew I ought to put the brakes on. But I couldn't. It was as if there were no brakes, there was no stopping. I just kept driving blind despite the pounding anxiety in my chest. It was as if I was unstoppable.

And then,

I woke up.

This is a recurring dream. I have had this dream at least a half dozen times. One time the dream continued it's dream story. I drove the car blind to a ferry port where kind people helped me board the ferry. Once the ferry left the pier my vision returned and I could see all the people on the ferry who had been kind to me. They were each disabled in one form or another. I was aboard a vessel of humans who each had some kind of crippling disability yet their joyfulness was uncontainable.

I thought about that dream for a long, long time.

I am pretty good at digesting my dreams. I am of the belief that our dreams can be messengers of wisdom and clarity, little windows in to our subconscious and perhaps even Higher Consciousness. I have come to believe that everything (and everyone) in our dream represents a part of our selves. If I dream of you, I do not think the dream is about you. Instead, I ask myself what do you represent to me and my life? Like the time I had a dream about Tony Robbins. What does he represent to me in my life? Motivation and focus. My dream was a wonderful word of wisdom to cultivate F O C U S

in my life.

I dreamed of an ex-lover not long ago. The dream is not about him. Instead, the dream held insight for me about longing and intimacy, about my own heart.

So what is it then about this recurring dream with night blindness and driving? What is the wisdom of this dream for me that over and over again speaks of the loss of vision, for I am a woman who is never at a loss for vision in my life.

The overwhelming feeling in this dream and upon waking from this dream every single time is anxiety. And it is also bewilderment. How is it that I can drive safely and stay in my lane and not wreck the car driving blind?

I have reflected on this recurring dream a thousand times. It seems to be telling me to Keep Going, even when I cannot see the way, Keep Going, even when my vision has failed me, Keep Going, stay the course even when I am scared, Keep Going anyway. It will work out for it always does and I always end up right where I am supposed to be with the people I am meant to be with.